LIFE GOES ON
1. Largely, there is no perk to turning 25. None that people tell you anyway. But today, I discovered something in the mail: an invitation to the NHS national cervical screening. It's a screening test offered to all women aged 25 to 49 in the UK and I knew this was coming from doing O&G last year. Still, the discovery was a little unpleasant.
Me: Oh shit, I'm 25.
That was my first thought. Now I'm on several mailing lists of course, but nothing that reminds me of getting old and that old people get diseased easily. Before long, it'll be poo for faecal occult blood testing and mammograms.
Oh, joy.
2. My late grandfather used to sewa tanah for one of the durian fields back in Penang. I used to go with him and my brothers to collect all the durians for the season. I hated the humidity, the squishy soil under my selipar Jepun, the insects buzzing in my ears and especially the surrounding darkness. A mistake I made was trusting my older brother who told me:
a. To avoid the durians from falling on my head and knocking me out cold, I must move around quickly. Never stay at the same spot for longer than a few seconds.
b. To avoid the lintahs from getting on my feet, I must jump around. The higher the more unlikely they can get on.
a + b = not a pretty picture.
And:
c. When you need to pee in the bushes (never mind whether I actually did it), say your salam and ask for permission. If you happen to pee on the lady ghost who lives in the bushes, she'll haunt you forever.
One of these days, if he comes for medical advice, whatever it is, I'm going to tell him it will make his balls fall off.
3. Last week, I pleaded temporary insanity. I put it down to stress secondary to exam. I didn't exactly go out burning down buildings or run around naked in public. Those would be easier to defend but what I did was more horrifying than that.
I said I would marry him. As soon as I regained my sanity, I took it back of course. Unfortunately, I lack the mad skills to go back in time to kick my own ass.
Sometimes you get nauseous and the feeling that all your insides are in a tight knot, but it's not because you need the toilet.
4. "I don't think it's anything serious like lymphoma or anything, but to be on the safe side, let's get you an FBC and ESR," he said monotonously. "I mean at this point, there is no ENT surgeon who would stick a needle in there and take a biopsy. It's enough that we do the blood tests as a screening first."
If I said "In that case, can I take one biopsy needle to go please?", he wouldn't find it funny.
5. Anyway children, the point here is that life goes on. No matter if good or bad things happen.
Me: Oh shit, I'm 25.
That was my first thought. Now I'm on several mailing lists of course, but nothing that reminds me of getting old and that old people get diseased easily. Before long, it'll be poo for faecal occult blood testing and mammograms.
Oh, joy.
2. My late grandfather used to sewa tanah for one of the durian fields back in Penang. I used to go with him and my brothers to collect all the durians for the season. I hated the humidity, the squishy soil under my selipar Jepun, the insects buzzing in my ears and especially the surrounding darkness. A mistake I made was trusting my older brother who told me:
a. To avoid the durians from falling on my head and knocking me out cold, I must move around quickly. Never stay at the same spot for longer than a few seconds.
b. To avoid the lintahs from getting on my feet, I must jump around. The higher the more unlikely they can get on.
a + b = not a pretty picture.
And:
c. When you need to pee in the bushes (never mind whether I actually did it), say your salam and ask for permission. If you happen to pee on the lady ghost who lives in the bushes, she'll haunt you forever.
One of these days, if he comes for medical advice, whatever it is, I'm going to tell him it will make his balls fall off.
3. Last week, I pleaded temporary insanity. I put it down to stress secondary to exam. I didn't exactly go out burning down buildings or run around naked in public. Those would be easier to defend but what I did was more horrifying than that.
I said I would marry him. As soon as I regained my sanity, I took it back of course. Unfortunately, I lack the mad skills to go back in time to kick my own ass.
Sometimes you get nauseous and the feeling that all your insides are in a tight knot, but it's not because you need the toilet.
4. "I don't think it's anything serious like lymphoma or anything, but to be on the safe side, let's get you an FBC and ESR," he said monotonously. "I mean at this point, there is no ENT surgeon who would stick a needle in there and take a biopsy. It's enough that we do the blood tests as a screening first."
If I said "In that case, can I take one biopsy needle to go please?", he wouldn't find it funny.
5. Anyway children, the point here is that life goes on. No matter if good or bad things happen.
posted by ai at
3/28/2009 09:06:00 pm
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