POSITIVE

I have just finished a two-week course on sexual health (or rather GUM) and I'm done with all the gonorrhoea and syphilis; and all the BVs and TVs in the world. I'd like all the images to go away and leave me in peace until the end-of-year exam.

When you're taking out 7 books on sexual health and STDs from the library, the last thing you want is for the cheeky librarian behind the counter to say, "You've got all the interesting books here." I didn't need that.

The other day, the school managed to arrange for a HIV positive patient to come in and talk to the class. He was a black Muslim; gaunt and reserved looking. The first glance tells one that this man had gone through a lot.

He spoke about being diagnosed with NHL and HIV at the same time about 8 years ago. He told us about his anger towards his GP because a year prior to his diagnosis, he'd been in and out of the surgery countless times. He told us about how his family supported him from day one of the diagnosis.

He stuttered nervously when asked about how he could've gotten the viral infection. He never used drugs. He kept a pretty clean lifestyle. Then he admitted to having unsafe sex in the past. He was angry about it. Maybe angry at himself as well.

When he presented, his CD4 count was 21, his VL >900,000. His NHL was stage 4. Naturally, they thought he would never make it. Now his CD4 count is 240 and VL is undetectable. He had never missed a dose since 2001. He had changed his life. He used to see the world as a dark place closing in on him. But he loved his life now.

Since he was diagnosed positive, he'd read up a lot of literature on HIV/AIDS and felt he could challenge any doctor on the knowledge. He was very literate and articulate. These patients who know what they want, and know when they're not getting the very best that they deserve, they're the good patients. Never the troublemakers they're sometimes thought to be because they do half the job a doctor is supposed to.

When asked why he was brave enough to come talk to us, unafraid of the stigma and revealing to a whole bunch of strangers his HIV status and history, he said he just wanted to be useful. Like a candle that burns itself out to give light to the surrounding.

He ended by giving an advice to the roomful of future doctors. Always listen to the patient. Sometimes, that's all that the patient needs.

I think some of us came out of the session feeling jealous of this man.