ALL

I never believed in having it all. It wasn’t for the lack of optimism, but nothing much was very important to me. If I were to list out all the things I wanted to do or achieve, it would be a very short list (but not pathetic *wink*).

Very few things mattered to me. But it’s changing a bit since this year.

It’s not an epiphany. It's tiny moments of realization. One of which actually involves two pairs of shoes.

I’m very glad I met this registrar. We’re not very close but I do admire her very much. In the two months I’ve been here, I have not heard a single bad thing about her. Everyone loves her, everyone thinks very highly of her. She has great people skills, is very goddamn professional and always effortlessly the centre of attention. There is so much energy around her and she makes every operation looks easy (damn, I rasa macam I boleh buat lap chole je). I can largely thank her for my newfound respect for surgeons and surgery itself.

She comes to ward round in her surgical scrubs every morning; the consultant has pretty much delegated everything to her. But it’s her theatre shoes that caught my eyes. The shoes are very dark red, or maroon in colour (yes, I’m very useless with colours) but what’s more important is that it is the only pair of that shade. Very striking when you put them among the other white, black and dark blue shoes. Everyone knows they belong to her.

But every Thursday for clinics, she wears this pair of very black and shiny shoes with 3-4 inches of heels. And I do believe nothing screams feminity and power more than a pair of very beautiful high-heels.

If everyone else can do it in flat sensible shoes, all the more power to you in those gorgeous high-heels. Especially if the other pair says you’re a surgeon.

She has it all including a great marriage (and a huge rock).

Always believe you can have it all. And I do mean all.