STILL MAY, DAMNIT

If you look around you now or think of the many people you know, apart from your own family, how many do you think will remain in your life, say, forty to fifty years from now?

Yes, some relationships and friendships last forever but what if that person is not really a partner or a friend?

This one girl has been a part of my life for a while now. Over the many many years, we have been through some good and horrible things together and have emerged pretty much the same than when we started. The universe brings us together from time to time even when neither of us asks for so.

Make no mistake, she is not a friend, neither is she the enemy. I hate her, I despite her, I loathe her, but I do care about her, I like her, and I love her. There has always been a degree of infatuation and addiction and attachment between us.

But if the universe decides to part us forever, I will be both ecstatic and devastated.

I do not know what is hate and love combined together, but I know only one can last forever.

(by the way, nothing is gay about this)

MEMORIES

There is a man on the ward who has anterograde amnesia. He wanders up and down the ward everyday asking why he is in the hospital. We tell him he's lost his memories and he gets upset only to return an hour later asking the same thing again.

He is stuck confusely thinking everyday is the day he comes to the hospital for a hernia operation.

There is a lady who has suffered two massive strokes and is bedbound, unresponsive and has partial seizure for hours everyday. She cannot do anything but unfortunately is still alive.

She is a shell, I remember describing her to Dennis. There is no person there but she is still breathing and her eyes are open but she is empty.

I don't know if they can remember what life used to be like, who they used to be, what they used to do. As for me, I started my own photo album, the old school style. I never really was a photo album sort of girl. It costs a bit to print all the photos but in ten twenty years from now I know they will be priceless.

MAY

It finally happened. Dennis and I were on call together last week. One junior doctor covering all the surgical wards and one covering all the medical wards at night. Did I think it was sexy knowing we were the only junior doctors on the wards? Yea ;) a little.

But in reality, we never even crossed paths.

What we got was a really messy flat and fighting who was less tired to do the washing up. And this is only junior doctor oncall, and it will definitely get worse in the future. Bring. It. On.