HOPE

I have packed my stuffs and cleaned my room for the fourth time in the last month. My room is so organized any mothers would be proud of me. You are allowed to roll your eyes at that. Anyway, hopefully this is going to be a long hiatus because I'm really planning to do some serious work. About time really because my energy has been running low since December (plus the stupid SSM *grumble*). I may even get to ride the ambulance.

None of us is going to admit it, but we are all hoping to get some good cases when it's our turn to ride the ambulance. Car crashes, heart attacks, burnt victims - those would be awesome! Bring it on! But grandmas falling down and breaking their hips... umm. Call it insensitive but we're pathetic in that way. Before Easter break, Peter won because he got to intubate a patient.

Damnit.

It is silly if I come back to London just to watch new episodes of Heroes and House right? Not that I care much about House nowadays. Although now that the nauseating sex is over, maybe they'll bring back the cool medical cases. And get Chase a spine donor.

By the way, who wrote this (shit)?

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In the last 3 days, I have had 2 accusations,

The accuser: You love yourself too much.

My immediate thought: Wait, that is a bad thing?

Another accuser: You're blind but you're not a foolish girl.

My immediate thought: Thank you for not calling me foolish.

If they work in giant ego and selfishness, there's the whole package! Honestly, just spell out what you're trying to say. I don't read lips, faces, palms, minds or futures. Sadly, I can only manage text and storybooks. So there.

GEEZ

The other day while coming out of the tube station, I saw a man leaning on crutches, one foot in a cast, and he was stopping people and asking for money. Now be it paranoia or whatever, beggars always take me for a sucker. They never fail to ask me for money. Their radar starts beeping madly whenever I am nearby.

I always trigger the sucker alert. It's a special ability. No talents required.

He said he needed to buy a ticket to Barking. Yea, if that ticket comes with booze, I'll believe you. But since he was asking for supposedly remaining 30p, I didn't mind being suckered. Right on cue, after thanking me, he turned around, went out of the station and disappeared into the crowd. C'mon, at least pretend you were going to buy the damn ticket!

I saw him again today, with two girls who were handing him some money. When he saw me, he smiled with a look of recognition. Not mocking or anything, just a smile for a recognized stranger. I had to smile back.

But still, I don't like beggars.

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Q: If you could get an extra body part, what would be your choice?
I thought it was a silly question until I couldn't decide between an extra brain and a pair of very majestic wings. Sigh.

AI

Today when the delivery guy was confirming my name, I realized there was something missing.

I don't remember exactly when I lost the binti in my name. I think it's been about 2 years now. And lately I can't be bothered with the apostrophe as well. I know I just need to flick my hand to make the apostrophe, but malas is malas is malas. Now it's just Asma Ibrahim, very plain very fucking simple. And I love it!

I love my parents for giving us all simple yet sensible names. My sister was given a 'Noor' and I suspect I had narrowly escaped such misfortune. Whew, surely a 'Noor' is harder to be rid of. An apostrophe is so miniscule people can think they've just been imagining it. Hmm, did Asma really have an apostrophe before or was it all just in my head? A 'Noor', not even magic can make it disappear. Anyway, nothing bad about the Nurs, Nors and Sitis, they're just not me.

Fine, I'll just say it. Some names give the impression that the persons bearing them are gentle and/or soft and (dare I say it) girlish. It would be a dark day if I ended up with such names.

My friend told me the apostrophe was unique and I should think about keeping it. 23 years I thought the silly thing was taunting the rest of my name. It doesn't belong to the alphabets, its size is pathetic, it's positional, and people either pay too much attention than it deserves or they don't give shit at all. It's functional yea, but put it at the end of someone's name, it's just awkward.

If I could change my name, I wouldn't do it really. As much as I find the apostrophe annoying, I love my initials =) C'mon, I don't know anyone else with better initials, ha!

Aww what is holiday without self-obsession? *geleng kepala* I should find a hobby.

HOT

It's too hot to do anything. Can't sleep, can't do my work, can't sit still for long. When it's cold, it's really cold, when it's hot, it's really hot. Perfect weather is just too rare. This calls for a tub of Ben & Jerry's.

What is more satisfying than ice cream in hot weather? Watching 300 at IMAX. Woot! Woot! Sangat cool. (Although how can you get through several battles with just one apple? C'mon!)

And what is more satisfying than 300 at IMAX? Finishing Catch-22 of course! This book got me by the third paragraph. Bakar Harry Potter and Michael Crichton! No, wait. Rip them up first and then bakar guna satu liter petrol.

The other day, I saw this mini Hong Kong art exhibition and my favorite were these rows of enlarged photographs on the walls. For each photograph there was a little story behind it. One of them showed two sets of feet belonging to two women in their 30s, taking the train and their conversation was overheard by the photographer.

It went roughly like this:

A: How do you beat your children?

B: I beat them when they're naughty.

A: Naughty children should be punished.

B: I don't beat the younger one much but the older one I beat everytime he's being naughty.

......

B: I met a man in his twenties. Too young for me. I met another in his forties. No good either.

A: The most important is finding a man you can talk to.

......

A: How is your husband?

B: I can't stand my husband and his family. Always asking too much of me. And he doesn't work enough.

A: My husband is dumb. But he's very nice to me and treats me well.

My friend was not at all impressed and inched her way to the next photograph. I don't know about you but I can't get it out of my head. For one thing, what values were the two women promoting? And can our lives be more different? Here I am blogging and wishing for cooler air, and working very hard to forget the PBLs I have to do; and people on their other side of the Earth are dealing with children and men; family and affairs.

My life, as I have come to believe, is pretty simple.

GELENG KEPALA

Middle-aged ladies shouldn't write about a teenaged boy's crush on a girl. I'm so embarrassed for Harry Potter.

Next up: Catch-22. I've been wanting to read this for years.

(Omg, I love holidays and all, but this is slowly driving me insane. I can't believe I rather be back at Colchester).

*goes into a corner to grumble*

NEW

A new place means new reasons to be happy or excited; or scream and bitch about new things. It's just that.

So I discovered I'm not very good with sharing things. For the first time ever, I have to share a fridge with my flatmates. And a fridge can smell funny after you stuff it with God knows what. I figured I have to stand back everytime I open the fridge door, but unfortunately I wasn't born with very long hands. In fact they're shorter than average, I know just exactly whose genes I have to blame.

So I have to hold my breath everytime I open the fridge. It's just so ridiculous. And not like I can remember that each time. I'm just getting so old and forgetful, okay?

And that's reason no. 1 to scream (all in my head of course).

Another little discovery is that I'm very territorial. If I could pee all over my territory, I would. No, scratch that. Really, I wouldn't. And I haven't. Not even by accident.

The walls are thin as hell. I can clearly hear my flatmate talking in his room if I just by accident happened to put my ear against the wall and hug it. What, you don't hug your wall from time to time? Must be a sad wall you have there.

And that's reason no. 2 obviously.

We don't actually have internet connection in the new hall. Most people would respond like this: "How did you survive without internet? I would go crazy without internet." Actually it isn't so bad. I discovered my computer can actually do other things than help me surf the net. Although at one point, I did start jumping around my room because there was no internet to distract me.

Clearly I have to learn to grow up. Or people have to learn to leave me alone.

I'd go for the latter.