COLD DAY

All I need to make me happy now:
1. Junk food (Walkers Sensations Gently Infused Lime and Thai Spices Flavour)
2. A good book (Terry Pratchett never fails to make me laugh)
3. Me being under my very warm very welcoming duvet
I love getting junk food all over my bed. It shows how comfortable I am.

Cold, peaceful winter day *sigh*

ANGER

If I were God, these are the people you can kill and offer as sacrifice to me.

1. The people behind Grey's Anatomy. Wait, better yet, the dumbass who came up with McDreamy. S/he should be stabbed, dragged down the streets, burnt and set on 1 tonne of napalm. Blow her/him up good. Die!! Die!!

2. People who bag their groceries too slowly at Sainsbury's. Now if you're arthritic, I can symphatize but if you're slow because you're chatting up the cashier, you're a dumbass who deserves to die!! What are the chances you're going to have a real conversation with the person who scans your supply of dairy products, vegs, meat and condoms?? Go home and call your parents instead.

3. People who play loud music outside my window. Yea, you have a car and your car has stereo. I'm going to set your car on fire one of these days. With you trapped inside!!

I feel so much better now.

EGO

They say the Great Wall of China can be spotted from the moon. Hello! My ego is even bigger than the frickin’ wall.

Maybe it was massively cloudy over wherever I was that day.

SUBHUMAN

It was not even 0900 and my consultant had asked me to speak to a woman about the importance of losing weight and quitting smoking. This woman is grossly obese and is S.O.B.A.R. And was she scared.

Am I going to die? You listened to my chest just now, what did you hear? I'm not ready to die yet. You can tell me truth. Am I dying?

Nothing makes me feel more subhuman than making a poor woman cry. And I'm losing sleep because of this. I just can't get her voice out of my head. The truth is I was terrified because I didn't know the right things to say. I know the first time around will always be traumatic; my hand actually trembled.

It's going to be really challenging.

And very interesting.

UNIVERSE

The world revolves around me. Me. Me. Me. Say it with the right tone.

If it doesn't affect me, I don't give a rat's ass.

SNAP

Sometimes I feel as if I can't contain the crazy person inside me any longer. Now that it has surfaces a few times, it's hungry for more. One of these days, it's going to take over. And all hell will break loose.

NOOOOOOOO!! Get back into the cage, bad girl!

So I'm doing this blog to let my crazy person out and about here. At least it's so much safer than letting it out in front of my friends and family. Because those are the people, with enough evidence, can get me committed. You never know what they're plotting behind your back.

My crazy person is also suspicious sometimes.